"[my name here] was not a miracle. She was not an adventure. She was not a fine and precious thing. She was a girl."
Financial aid, FAFSA, and pell grants make me so, so angry. And by angry I mean it makes me cry. Literally. I am ineligible to receive a pell grant because I am under 24, single, and do not have children. Even though I’ve lived on my own for three years, payed my own bills, filed my own taxes…..I’m still considered a dependent in the case of financial aid. It’s my parents’ job to pay for my school, according to the government. Well guess what, I don’t have those picture perfect parents. My mom and her husband make enough money to pay for my education, but won’t. And my father hasn’t spoken to me in over two years. You know what the government has to say about that? “Tough shit.” (that’s also what they have to say about my health insurance situation) I work two jobs and it’s still not enough. I’m lucky enough to have an overly gracious and loving significant other who pays for what I cannot, otherwise I’d be drowning in student loans right now. Meanwhile, I have to endure watching less deserving people being awarded grants. People who don’t actually care about going to school and bettering themselves, they just want the cut of the check that’s left over. That pisses me off SO MUCH. There are so many people out there like me who could really use the money and it’s being blown on people abusing the system.
*sigh* I’m going to shut up now.
My Colin Hoedown
I’m glad I don’t have periods every month like a regular girl, I would be perpetually broke bc all I do iS IMPULSE SHOP THIS IS HORRIBLE AND GETTING OUT OF HAND
Growing up, I always thought I was straight. I live in the deep south, the bible belt, and it was kinda not okay to be anything else. I never questioned it. From age 16-19 I dated a boy that was secretly gay, but we loved each other anyways—without sex. I have a best friend, she’s a girl, and sometimes I felt like I could kiss her and it was confusing. I thought, “I’m not attracted to females, but” Over the years I had sexual encounters with guys that I didn’t have a sincere personal bond with and it ranged from (at best) boring to (worst) total regret.
Then I started dating my current boyfriend (of 3 years now, my future husband). He’s your common heterosexual male with a high sex drive (the only common thing about him). When I found out that he was sexually attracted to our neighbor, I was devastated. I thought he liked her more than me. I thought he was going to leave me. It wasn’t until then that anyone ever explained to me that there was a difference between sexual attraction and a personal romantic attraction. They’re the same thing to me, how can you have one without the other? You can see someone walking down the street, not even knowing their name, and want to have sex with them? That makes NO SENSE. This has always been our main struggle. I told myself I was being a “girl”, I was being overly emotional and irrational and there was something wrong with me. It was something I just dealt with.
And then I saw this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cp6xRMyji5E It’s a channel called Sexplanations with Dr. Doe and for split second she rambles off different types of sexual orientations—the first one being demisexuality. I’d never heard of it, so naturally I go to google. I read the AVENwiki page and OHMYGOD THIS IS ME THIS IS ME OHMYGOD. It was like an epiphany, my whole life changed in that moment. I wasn’t crazy or weird or different, it has a name, the way I am and the way I feel. I showed it to my boyfriend. Finally I was able to better explain my perspective, and he was so accepting and understanding, and it really saved and solidified our relationship.
But now I have a new struggle. People don’t get it. They say “Oh, like saving yourself for marriage.” No, NO. That’s not it, it’s not a choice. Just like heterosexuality, homosexuality, asexuality, pansexuality, etc and beyond isn’t a choice. It wasn’t a moral decision, it’s the way I am. It’s the way I’ve always been, before I even knew it was something to be.
tl;dr Demisexuality is real.
If regular girls love baby humans the way I love baby cats then I can understand why they want children so much.