"[my name here] was not a miracle. She was not an adventure. She was not a fine and precious thing. She was a girl."

 

I really like Colin, he’s my secret crush
When I think about him, my insides turn to mush
I know that in the bible, it’s a sin to lust
But when it comes to sex, it’s Colin—or bust

My Colin Hoedown

I’m glad I don’t have periods every month like a regular girl, I would be perpetually broke bc all I do iS IMPULSE SHOP THIS IS HORRIBLE AND GETTING OUT OF HAND

A Sexuality Story

Growing up, I always thought I was straight. I live in the deep south, the bible belt, and it was kinda not okay to be anything else. I never questioned it. From age 16-19 I dated a boy that was secretly gay, but we loved each other anyways—without sex. I have a best friend, she’s a girl, and sometimes I felt like I could kiss her and it was confusing. I thought, “I’m not attracted to females, but” Over the years I had sexual encounters with guys that I didn’t have a sincere personal bond with and it ranged from (at best) boring to (worst) total regret.

Then I started dating my current boyfriend (of 3 years now, my future husband). He’s your common heterosexual male with a high sex drive (the only common thing about him). When I found out that he was sexually attracted to our neighbor, I was devastated. I thought he liked her more than me. I thought he was going to leave me. It wasn’t until then that anyone ever explained to me that there was a difference between sexual attraction and a personal romantic attraction. They’re the same thing to me, how can you have one without the other? You can see someone walking down the street, not even knowing their name, and want to have sex with them? That makes NO SENSE. This has always been our main struggle. I told myself I was being a “girl”, I was being overly emotional and irrational and there was something wrong with me. It was something I just dealt with.

And then I saw this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cp6xRMyji5E It’s a channel called Sexplanations with Dr. Doe and for split second she rambles off different types of sexual orientations—the first one being demisexuality. I’d never heard of it, so naturally I go to google. I read the AVENwiki page and OHMYGOD THIS IS ME THIS IS ME OHMYGOD. It was like an epiphany, my whole life changed in that moment. I wasn’t crazy or weird or different, it has a name, the way I am and the way I feel. I showed it to my boyfriend. Finally I was able to better explain my perspective, and he was so accepting and understanding, and it really saved and solidified our relationship.

But now I have a new struggle. People don’t get it. They say “Oh, like saving yourself for marriage.” No, NO. That’s not it, it’s not a choice. Just like heterosexuality, homosexuality, asexuality, pansexuality, etc and beyond isn’t a choice. It wasn’t a moral decision, it’s the way I am. It’s the way I’ve always been, before I even knew it was something to be.

tl;dr Demisexuality is real.

#flashbackfriday to vidcon 2012 when Harley picked my boyfriend out of a crowd and asked to take a “creepy beard pic”

#flashbackfriday to vidcon 2012 when Harley picked my boyfriend out of a crowd and asked to take a “creepy beard pic”

If regular girls love baby humans the way I love baby cats then I can understand why they want children so much.

Staying up all night following along as John reads tfios, a little refresher before I see the movie tomorrow. Breathing is supposed to be involuntary, right?

Staying up all night following along as John reads tfios, a little refresher before I see the movie tomorrow. Breathing is supposed to be involuntary, right?

The difference a year and a haircut can make though. Can’t decide which is better.

The difference a year and a haircut can make though. Can’t decide which is better.

My father had an exact replica of my mother made, porcelain doll style, as gift for their wedding. They’ve long since been divorced and now she sits in the corner of a closet depressed.

My father had an exact replica of my mother made, porcelain doll style, as gift for their wedding. They’ve long since been divorced and now she sits in the corner of a closet depressed.